B- is for being fully present

B- is for being fully present.

We're somewhere in here. Um. *boggles* Can't think about it long.

Be here now.

Oh dear. Cliche alert. It’s better than my first idea, which was to write about bees.

I love bees. When I think about their disappearance I want to cry.

Honeybees, you know, and their mysterious disappearing, something that breaks my heart. But I digress.

Yes, I did grow up hippie, and learned to chant, meditate, chase rainbows and other esoteric practices.

None of that taught me what the school of hard knocks has.

I’m also a therapist. I try to help clients identify barriers in their lives, teach them what we call “distress tolerance” which, in other times, was called “enduring suffering.”

We are very much against enduring suffering in America. There should be a law against having to! and we often sue those who have the temerity to cause us pain. Perhaps it’s all that “persuit of happiness” business–our expectations are unrealistic, and our suffering tolerance low.

Ten years of college-none of it taught me what the school of hard knocks has. Whether you like it or not, you’re enrolled too.

And the lesson is this:

Being fully alive means being fully present in each moment, taking in the experience, all senses fully engaged, and mind available.

It's good to be in the most ordinary moments.

I can only tolerate even the most ordinary moments of fully being for five to ten minutes before I’m overwhelmed.

I call it the unbearable acuteness of living.

I’m working on doing some of it every day, for seconds longer. I’m still hardly able to just ‘be.’ And the secret is, that’s where happiness is found.

How long can you “be”?

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28 Responses to B- is for being fully present

  1. damyanti says:

    This “being” takes courage. It is also sometimes called meditation. I can do a few minutes of it at a time, especially when I’m alone at home.

  2. Barbara says:

    I don’t know how long I can be in a moment, but I try to be aware and watch myself if I drift away… Nice to meet here :)

  3. Rekha says:

    It is not easy to just “be”…. the mind has a habit of pulling one all across the universe…but one can always try from Tomorrow :) …nice post.

  4. Loved this post. The right mixture of good thoughts and common-sense reality.

    I never really thought about how optimistic Americans are until I moved abroad. There’s good in it, and then there’s this sort of weird expectation that bad guys get their asses kicked, good guys win the day and get the girl, and by the way defining ‘good guys’ as ‘people who agree with me’.

    In all honesty, I like reality better. It’s messier, but more honest. I like honest.

  5. Trevor Peck says:

    Bees are amazing! Had to say it. It is refreshing to find others who can find sheer beauty in the things others can so easily ignore (that was what my post was about today!).

    Being is easier when one finds their purpose for being – for me that’s found in Christ. Thanks for the great post.

    Grace and Peace.

  6. Great post! I am continually working on truly “being” in this moment. I find it hard to be completely mindful of the moment because real life gets in the way with kids, and dogs, and omg the laundry, and the Aprosexia thing from my A post ;)

    Nice to meet you! Thanks for stopping over at my blog. :)

  7. Summer Ross says:

    Just be- I miss the days when I could. Thanks for the post.

  8. At last I’ve met someone who finds it as difficult as I do to think about our tiny place in the vast universe. My husband thinks I’m over sensitive. I think he has a limited power to imagine. And I can’t BE for very long or it does my head in too.

  9. Interesting post. I’m not sure if I am ever just being. I shall have to think about it!

    Ellie Garratt

  10. TS Hendrik says:

    My grandfather was a bee keeper, so it makes me extra sad to think of them disappearing.

  11. There is nothing I find quite as calming as taking a few moments to just acknowledge and be thankful for something like a comfortable sweater, a cool glass of wine, or a moving piece of music. Sometimes all we need to do is just be.

  12. Hi again, Toby. Popping in on your day two post as well. I am in my late 50′s as you know, and I discovered about a decade ago how just to be, in and of the moment.

    It took discipline which I am not good at, trusting myself which I do, and allowing the universe to guide me where ever it wanted for that infinite place and time.
    I now make time every day to just be. The connection comes when and as it chooses, it is a freeing and wonderful moment and I am greedy with it..savoring it fully and committing it to memory.
    Thanks for reminding me how damned fortunate I am to have that.
    great post.
    Soooz

  13. LOVE THIS LADY! An ode to simply “being”;) A-Z…I might just have to play along:-) make it a great weekend and thanks for being in my life, Stephen
    http://www.suchielove.blogspot.com

  14. Lyn Lomasi says:

    Sometimes it’s hard to just relax and “be”. Great post! :)

  15. rhonda says:

    Being. Sometimes easy, like when I am writing about now. Sometimes hard, like when I stop and I see all of life’s distractions in my field of vision. Nice to meet you. Great blog, I look foward to C.

  16. Susanna Khoo says:

    Heya Tony,

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I’m returning the favour. Interesting topic you wrote here. Keep the April posts coming! ;)

  17. Susanna Khoo says:

    Bah! Sorry! I spelled your name wrongly. It’s Toby right? Sorry again :(

  18. K.C. Woolf says:

    Hi Toby, great meeting you!

    Be or Bee, both interesting topics (the bees had a busy day here now that our fruit trees are in bloom). Being fully present, now there’s another matter …

    Following you now. :-)

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