Category Archives: Parenting

Fifth time’s the charm: another call to Child Welfare.

Posted on March 25, 2012 by toby

***ALL IDENTIFYING DETAILS CHANGED TO PROTECT CONFIDENTIALITY***** Some of you already know that in my “real life” I’m a school counselor and therapist. Today there’s a picture of a bruise on my phone. I took that picture hours earlier, holding … Read More

Posted in Parenting, Personal, Therapy | Tagged , , , | 32 Comments

Making the call to Child Protective Services

Posted on September 10, 2011 by toby

Sometimes I hate my job as a school counselor and therapist. Something bad happened over the weekend to one of my student clients. Her face is unusually shuttered, eyes down, monosyllabic answers to my questions, denials that anything more than … Read More

Posted in Life, Parenting | Tagged , | 17 Comments

Kids should read more. Adults too.

Posted on July 28, 2011 by toby

Nothing makes me happier than seeing a book in a kid’s hands. It’s kind of a visceral thing, because books are one of the finest things we’ve done as a species. I have some new adolescent clients, and when the … Read More

Posted in Blogging, Fiction, Life, Parenting, Therapy | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Airport love.

Posted on June 10, 2011 by toby

Airports. There’s really only one way to get here, folks. Forget trains, automobiles and even boats (except for freight) people come to Hawaii through the airport. This is why I have a special warm fuzzy for the movie Love Actually- … Read More

Posted in Hawaii, Life, Parenting, Personal | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Rites of passage: across all cultures and throughout time.

Posted on May 18, 2011 by toby

Rite of passage –noun 1.  Anthropology . a ceremony performed to facilitate or mark a person’s change of status upon any of several highly important occasions, as at the onset of puberty or upon entry into marriage or into a … Read More

Posted in Hawaii, Life, Parenting, The Writing Life, Therapy | Tagged , , , | 5 Comments

Traveling with kids–whether you like it or not

Posted on May 14, 2011 by toby

Everything about this trip has been wonderfully smooth. Mom picked us up in the Red Rocket (aka sister’s van) and dropped us off at the curb of the airport where Mike had the porter take away our bags, and with … Read More

Posted in Life, Parenting, Personal | 5 Comments

Thoughts on being a mom on Mother’s Day

Posted on May 8, 2011 by toby

Our girl is graduating from college this coming Saturday. In a fugue state, I address the announcements. How did it happen so fast? I still remember the scent of the back of her infant neck, a peachy milky perfume, and … Read More

Posted in Life, Parenting, Personal | Tagged , , , | 12 Comments

The “Big Eight” parenting mistakes.

Posted on February 8, 2011 by toby

I often have parents in my office doing what we now call “parent education” (a.k.a. family therapy.) I find myself saying the same things over and over to a variety of faces so I thought I’d distill them here into … Read More

Posted in Life, Parenting, Therapy | Tagged , , | 3 Comments